Uniting Hearts: Discovering Me #3 Read online

  “Yeah.” She’s stopped crying but still looked subdued. “Am I an awful person for not wanting to hold her?”

  “No, you aren’t.” I eased onto the side of the bed and squeezed her wrist with my less sore hand. “The baby came way earlier than you anticipated. You haven’t made your decision yet. No one is judging you, okay?”

  “That nurse was judging me, I saw it in her eyes. Everyone in town will judge me if they find out.”

  “Who’s going to tell them? What happened in this room is no one else’s business.”

  “Why can’t everyone in the world be as wonderful as you?”

  “There are plenty of other amazing men out there. Maybe not in Franklin but that’s what dating apps are for.” I shifted position so I could slide an arm across her shoulders.

  She leaned in and sighed. “I’m so scared, Remy. I don’t want to be alone in that apartment while the baby is stuck here. I’ll sit around and go stir-crazy, and I’ll second-guess every choice I still have to make.”

  “Then come stay in the guest room.” The offer popped out of my mouth before my brain thought better of it. I couldn’t take it back, though, not with the way Bethann’s eyes lit up.

  “You mean it?” she asked. “That would be amazing, thank you. But won’t Cole object?”

  Cole might silently dislike it, but he also wouldn’t argue against allowing a friend who’d just given birth early the comfort of being around people who cared. Being in a safe, loving home while she figured out her next steps: keep the baby or put her up for adoption.

  “Cole will be fine with it. I mean, it’s just temporary.”

  “Right. Okay, I’ll come stay with you guys for a while.”

  “Cool.” My gut squirmed with unease over my future conversation with Cole.

  “Thank you, Remy, I mean it.”

  “You’re welcome.” I pressed a brotherly kiss to her temple. “There’s someone out there for you, Bethann. I believe it, so now you need to believe it, too.”

  “I’ll try.”

  For tonight, that was really all I could ask from her.

  I went home about an hour later, after Bethann had fallen asleep. Franklin was quiet and dark when I finally turned off the interstate and onto familiar streets. But when every business in town, including the grocery store, closed at nine o’clock, there wasn’t much of a nightlife to be had in these small towns still dotting the countryside. The back porch light blazed for me when I parked my van in the driveway. Cole had left the light on for me.

  The second floor was dark, the only light coming from the underside of the microwave. Dinner had been forever ago, so I made myself an American cheese and dill pickle sandwich with mayo with the last of our cheese. A weird combo Bethann had craved during her second trimester and she’d turned me onto them. Washed that down with a swig from an open bottle of Riesling before hauling my exhausted body upstairs.

  I peeked into our room simply to see Cole’s familiar lump under the covers, before doing my business in the bathroom. Cole slept on his side, facing the middle of the bed, his brow creased, and I gazed at him for a moment, his face barely visible in the dim moonlight. “Please, don’t be mad at me in the morning,” I whispered.

  As if hearing my voice, the crease smoothed out and he released a soft snore. I smiled at the familiar sound, shucked everything except my underwear because it was July and the third floor was always hot, and then slid under the covers with my boyfriend.

  I woke to sunshine on my face and Cole snuggled up close to my back, both of us sharing my pillow. A blast of love and desire sent blood right to my semi-hard dick, and I tried to ignore the rising issue. I also had to pee again, so I slipped out of bed and got my dick to behave so I could relieve myself.

  Cole was sprawled on his back and yawning when I returned to the room. The alarm clock told me it was a little after eight so I slid right back into bed and on top of my boyfriend. Cole chuckled and we shared a good-morning kiss. “You’re home,” he said, “so I take it the baby is okay?”

  “So far, so good. Bethann had a little girl. She’ll have to stay in the hospital for at least a week, though. The baby, not Bethann. I’m bringing her home this morning.”

  “How’s Bethann?”

  “Physically fine but emotionally conflicted. She thought she’d have more time to decide if she wants to keep the baby or not.” That was as good a lead-in as I was going to get. “She’s really confused and feels all alone, so I said she could stay in the guest room for a while.”

  Cole frowned and when he started to wriggle, I rolled off him and sat up. He sat more slowly, his expression blank. “The guest room. How long is a while?”

  “I don’t know, but she needs the support, at least while the baby is in the hospital. I know I should have asked you first, and the offer was totally spontaneous and not something I’ve been considering, I promise. I just blurted it out and couldn’t take it back. She looked so relieved.”

  Something flickered in Cole’s eyes but his expression didn’t change. He also didn’t speak.

  “Are you mad?” I asked. “I am so sorry I didn’t ask you first. That wasn’t cool of me.”

  “I’m not mad. It’s your house, Jeremy, you don’t have to consult me about having guests.”

  My heart flinched. “It’s our house, Cole. I invited someone into our house as a temporary guest, and you deserved to have input.”

  “Maybe I did but what’s done is done. And even if you had asked, I wouldn’t have been the asshole who said no way, you can’t let your friend who just had a baby live here for a week or two. It’s fine. We’ll work it out.”

  “Okay.” I reached out to stroke his cheek, grateful he leaned into my touch. “Have I told you lately how amazing you are?”

  Cole finally smiled. “Not today you haven’t.”

  “You’re amazing, and I love you.”

  “Me too. And I take it you still need me to open the shop today?”

  “Yes, please and thank you. I need to help get Bethann packed and settled.”

  “Right.” He slid out of bed and strode toward the door. “After a shower, how do you feel about French toast for breakfast?”

  “Sound great,” I said to his departing back.

  Cole was upset but not mad, so I gave him privacy to shower alone, when we often shared in the morning. Usually, he’d start washing his hair and I’d join him in time to help him soap up his body and rinse off. Then he’d step out so I could beat off my frequent morning wood. We kept lube in the bathroom but shower sex was a rare treat, and it was definitely not happening today. Or anytime in the near future, not with a houseguest coming.

  We shared Cole’s exquisite French toast and I made sure to compliment the chef several times. He’d perfected the recipe by cooking it for his ex-asshole, and the first time Cole made it for me, I’d nearly orgasmed from the experience. Cole said he wanted to reclaim things from Martin that he used to love, like French toast. The fact that he made it this morning, of all mornings, told me that I was forgiven.

  We also shared the Sunday paper, which was something of a new tradition for us. Cole hadn’t read the paper much when he first moved in, but I had a habit of reading the entire thing, section by section, and of saving the comics and crossword for last. Now, he read some of the sections after I finished, and we did the crossword puzzle together. He often impressed me by knowing obscure answers I couldn’t figure out.

  Bethann called and said she was being discharged at ten-thirty, which gave me just enough time to get to the hospital. But instead of her room, I found Bethann in a wheelchair, waiting for me in the lobby with a bag of personal belongings on her lap. Her eyes were puffy and red, suggesting a recent bout of crying.

  “Hey, you,” I said as I leaned down to hug her. “Is everything okay? Is it the baby?”

  “The baby is fine as far as I know. Just feeling emotional.”

  “Well, you’ve had an emotional weekend.”

  “
Yeah. Where’s your van?”

  “Cole’s car, actually, and it’s in the parking garage. To be honest, I thought I’d be here longer. Thought maybe you’d want to visit the baby before we left.”

  Bethann shook her head. “No. I thought about it for a long time, but no. I don’t want to see her today.”

  I bit back the instinctive need to argue, to tell her that being around the baby might help her make her choice. But Bethann was more stubborn than anyone I knew, and she’d just dig her heels in. I had to navigate this new situation like a bomb squad officer and hope for a positive outcome, rather than an explosion.

  “Well, then I’ll go get the car and pick you up,” I said. “Then we can swing by your apartment and pack up a suitcase of clothes and things.”

  “Okay.”

  I took her bag with me on the walk back to the garage and Cole’s car. I’d asked to borrow it, figuring Bethann would be more comfortable in it, instead of climbing up in the van’s higher seats. Sometimes only owning a big cargo van was a pain in the ass, so I appreciated Cole’s more compact car.

  Her apartment was across town from my house, in a square brick building with three stories and no elevator. No decks either, and mostly small, square windows. A product of another decade, but the apartments were clean and affordable. Bethann lived on the second floor, and I helped her take the stairs at her pace. I had no idea how sore she was, so I didn’t push. We had time.

  Each floor had four apartments, two on either side of a long hallway, and Bethann’s was to the right of the stairwell door. She stopped walking, one hand flying to her mouth. I saw it an instant later.

  Someone had tied a pink “It’s a Girl!” foil balloon to her doorknob.

  She reached for the balloon’s loosely-tied ribbon with trembling fingers and yanked it loose. I opened the door with her keys, and the minute we were alone inside, Bethann started to cry. I eased the balloon out of her hand and let it float away. Then I pulled my friend into a hug and held her tight so she stayed here with me.

  Not physically, but emotionally.

  “I’ve got you, Beth. I’m not going anywhere.”

  3

  COLE

  I still wasn’t entirely sure how I felt about our new, temporary roommate when I went downstairs to open the shop. Absolutely conflicted but not over what I expected. It made perfect sense for Bethann to move in for a little while, especially after such an unexpected birth and with her decision moving forward still unmade. We could coexist for Jeremy’s sake.

  No, I was more conflicted over Jeremy’s insistence that this was our house, and that I should always be involved in house decisions. Technically, it was Jeremy’s house. His name was on the mortgage, his name was on all the bills, and everything was paid through his accounts. Yes, I contributed every single month with what I could afford, but at the end of the day, if Jeremy and I broke up I was the one who’d have to leave.

  Because it was his house. My house and land would hopefully be sold this week, giving me the freedom I’d craved since I was a teenager.

  The familiar, musty air of the shop greeted me when I unlocked the backdoor and let myself inside. Flipped the two main light switches that brightened up areas the sunshine from the front windows couldn’t reach. My first tour of the shop was still one of my favorite memories of the place as I took in exactly how Jeremy categorized and displayed his goods. All the history that filled this room and beckoned both locals and tourists to see what treasures they could unearth on the dozens of shelves and display cases.

  The register was behind the display case that held Jeremy’s most valuable objects, and I went there first to open the safe. I put in the cash till and got everything set to go for the day. His policy was cash or credit cards, and he only accepted personal checks from Franklin residents or long-time customers he trusted. I didn’t know who those particular customers were, but Jeremy once said he kept a list of names in the drawer beneath the register, along with pens, extra receipt paper, and various other office supplies we might need.

  The clock on the wall dinged eleven, so after double-checking Jeremy’s office door was locked, I went to the front door. Unlocked the knob and deadbolt, then turned the window sign from Closed to Open.

  I hadn’t gotten two steps from the door before it opened with the ring of a bell. “So, Jeremy, I—oh, it’s you,” a familiar female voice said.

  I turned, not terribly surprised to see Lucy Boyle standing just inside the shop, her hand still on the knob. She was a pretty brunette, tall and in her mid-thirties. She was also friends with Bethann and a huge gossip. Jeremy had told me more than one tale of her trying to either engage him with gossip, or get gossip out of him. “Good morning to you, too, Lucy,” I said dryly.

  “I thought Jeremy would be in.”

  “Well, he’s not, as you can see.” This confrontation first thing was screwing with my anxiety a bit, but I’d taken a pill with breakfast. Shouldn’t get too bad in the two hours I’d be alone down here. “Can I interest you in any antiques this morning? We’re fresh out of gossip.”

  She blessedly shut the door so the outside heat didn’t suck out all our air conditioning. “I heard Bethann had the baby last night, but no one knows anything. Not even the gender.”

  I was pretty impressed about that as I rounded to the other side of the counter, happy to have a physical barrier between myself and Lucy. “Well, that is Bethann’s news to share, not mine.”

  “But you know because Jeremy knows, and don’t you gays tell each other everything?”

  I didn’t bother correcting Lucy that Jeremy was bisexual, not gay, because she knew and was likely trying to rile me up and get me to talk. “Jeremy and I do our best to communicate, yes, but that is our relationship and our business.”

  “Ugh, you’re so boring.”

  “You are hardly the first person to accuse me of being boring.” I’d much rather be boring and not the subject of discussion, rather than interesting enough to remain a topic on the gossip circuit. Some of the things I overheard at the post office were bad enough. I picked up a small lollipop from the bowl Jeremy kept for kids. “Dum-dum?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Can you at least confirm Mom and baby are okay?”

  “They’re both okay. I’m sure once Bethann is ready to tell people what’s up, she’ll call you. So can you please tell your friends not to come down here and harass me for information?”

  “Yes, I can.” She snatched the lollipop from me. “Mystery flavor. Figures.” With a flounce, she left the shop.

  One down. Probably a few more to go, but so far, so good.

  James Rafferty was the next local to show up. An older gentleman with the weathered skin of someone who’d spent a lifetime working outdoors, Rafferty wore cowboy boots and a suede, fringed jacket that reminded me of Old West shows. He was also one of the first people to find out Jeremy and I were together, and he’d accepted it without any fuss. In some ways, he reminded me of the grandfather I’d never had.

  “How’re you doin’ this morning, son?” Rafferty asked, pretending to peruse the merchandise on his slow stroll toward the register.

  “I’m doing well, thank you. And you?”

  “Lower back’s been a bit of a bother, but I can’t complain too much. You mindin’ the store all by your lonesome?”

  “Yes, sir. Jeremy had a personal errand, and I thought I’d make myself useful instead of having to open late.”

  “Good lad, helpin’ out your friend.”

  It amused me that, despite accepting we were a couple, Rafferty didn’t seem able to call me and Jeremy boyfriends. “I’m trying to push outside my comfort zones. Baby steps and all.”

  “I understand. PTSD ain’t an easy thing to work through.”

  While I’d never told Rafferty to his face that I had PTSD and related anxiety issues, he’d been at the Food Mart this past winter when someone dropped a glass bottle, and I’d had a flashback. Hit the floor and been unable to move, trapped
back in that steaming glass-door shower. Rafferty had called Jeremy to come get me, and then he’d checked on me a few days later, after the town dug out from a random blizzard. That’s when Jeremy and I officially came out.

  “No, it isn’t easy,” I replied.

  “So I don’t suppose this personal errand of Jeremy’s has anything to do with Miss Bethann?”

  I snickered. “Well, you did a lot better than Lucy Boyle about trying to get information out of me. At least you were polite about it.”

  “I’ll admit, I did see Lucy leave the store as I was walking over. She didn’t look happy.”

  “That’s because baby information is Bethann’s private business. I’ll tell you what I told Lucy, and that’s both mother and baby are fine. I imagine if that had changed, Jeremy would have texted me.”

  “Jeremy’s a good man. So are you, Cole, for protecting your friend’s privacy.”

  “Thank you, sir.”

  “You’re very welcome. I also heard a rumor that you got an offer on your land yesterday.”

  Damn it.

  “Yes, I did,” I said, squashing down a flash of panic. “Can I ask you for a favor? I haven’t told Jeremy yet, because I’m terrified I’ll jinx the sale. I don’t want to tell him until the paperwork is finalized at the end of the week. Can you please not mention this to Jeremy?”

  Rafferty squinted. “Sure, I can keep it to myself. He might hear it from other folks, though.”

  “He might but I imagine he’ll be a bit distracted by Bethann this week.” I couldn’t bring myself to admit she was moving in with us for a while. That would get around town soon enough.

  “Well, you boys need anything, you let me know. Retirement’s a lot less interesting than I thought it would be.”

  “We will, thank you.”

  The rest of my two-hour shift passed in a similar way, with mostly locals coming in, pretending to shop, and then asking me why Jeremy wasn’t there as a lead-in to Bethann. I considered hanging a sign on the register that said “Don’t Ask, I Won’t Tell” but didn’t. A pair of unfamiliar faces who were probably tourists actually bought a few things, and I walked myself through using the credit card reader. Fairly straightforward, and I didn’t screw up the transaction. That loosened a knot of worry in my belly.