Weight of Silence: (Cost of Repairs #3) Read online

  “—swear his shirt was white when they got here,” Schuyler was saying when Gavin sat down.

  “Whose shirt was white?” he asked innocently.

  “Jace’s. It was white and now it’s pink.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Mama laughed and covered with a cough. Barrett patted Schuyler’s shoulder and said, “It’s okay. I think you’re just getting senile.”

  Schuyler frowned. “Look who’s talking, old man.”

  Gavin grinned. The pair were nowhere near old, but they were pretty funny to watch together. Outside of his art room at school, Schuyler had always been so stiff and boring. Barrett seemed to bring out his fun, livelier side.

  Gavin was too busy stuffing his face to contribute to the various conversations happening around him. He ate fast, always had and always would, because he hated sitting still for too long. Even for meals. Mama said he’d been a terror as a toddler, never wanting to stay put longer than three minutes at a time before running off to play. It had been hell on his father’s temper, though, which he’d take out on Mama, and that was one of the few things Gavin actively regretted.

  He’d filled his plate so well that he didn’t need to go for seconds, but the opportunity to chat with Jace presented itself when the object of his attention stood and headed for the food. Gavin grabbed his plate and quickly excused himself. His stomach was tight and full to bursting, and his neck prickled with awareness when he stood next to Jace in front of the vegetable dishes.

  “So how’s the cranberry sauce?” Gavin whispered.

  Jace choked and nearly dropped the carrot spoon. “Apparently your mom explained the accident to my mom, and now my mom is considering the merits of natural fruit fabric dyes.”

  Gavin snickered. “I didn’t know your mom was that crafty.”

  “She’s not, she just spends too much time on Pinterest.”

  “Ah.” He watched Jace scoop up more carrots, spinach and someone’s three-bean salad. Gavin’s stomach hated him for the spoonful of carrots he added to his own plate. He would never take food he didn’t intend to eat, but he didn’t want to be so obvious about why he’d returned to the counter.

  “So you go to Temple, right?” Gavin asked, hoping to stall the conversation a while longer.

  “Yeah, Rachel and I both go there.”

  They moved out of the way of some other folks who wanted food and stood off to the side with their plates.

  “Do you like it?”

  Jace hesitated. “It’s okay. I’ve never been the academic type like my sisters, so it’s hard for me. We’ve got finals two weeks after I get back.” He said the word finals like it tasted nasty in his mouth.

  “I was never great at school.” Gavin got in trouble so often that he was lucky he’d graduated on time with his classmates. “Loved sports, though.”

  “Yeah?” Jace gave him a once-over—probably confirming that yes, Gavin had an athlete’s body—but it came off as checking him out. And Jace blushed for the second time that day. Adorable. “What sports?”

  “Football, basketball, baseball, you name it and I’ve played it. I wasn’t great at all of them, but I tried them all at least once.”

  “It’s good to try new things.”

  “So I’ve heard.” Jace seemed to correctly interpret the flirty line. Only instead of getting embarrassed, his awkward smile actually looked interested. Even though this was too good to be true, Gavin sped forward because he had nothing to lose. “You’re home for the whole weekend?”

  “Until Sunday morning, yeah,” Jace said. “It’s not a long drive to Philly, but I have a paper due Monday, and I didn’t want to bring the work home with me.”

  “Makes sense. Look, my buddy Casper is having a party tomorrow night. Not a huge one, but some people I know, so if you’re interested it could be fun to hang or something.” Gavin was babbling, so he shut up and let his offer stand.

  “You have a friend named Casper?”

  “Nickname. Dude wouldn’t tan if you spray-painted him.”

  Jace laughed, then his smile turned upside down. “You know I’m only nineteen, right?”

  “Oh, well, you don’t have to drink. I usually don’t.” And that wasn’t a line. He hated alcohol—yet something else he could thank his jerk of a sperm donor for. “It was just a thought.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  Jace grinned. “I don’t have any plans tomorrow. What time’s the party?”

  “Nine-ish. I can pick you up.”

  “Okay, cool. I’ll get your number before I leave today.”

  “Sure, awesome.”

  Gavin stood there for several seconds after Jace walked back to his family. He wasn’t going to make anything out of the “date” until something actually happened, but the fact that he was going to hang out with this crush-worthy boy for a few hours was enough to float him through the rest of the afternoon.

  College had definitely been good to Jace Ramsey.

  2

  Music blasted through his earbuds from his iPod, giving Jace a foot-stamping beat to pace to and keep blood flowing while he waited for Gavin to pick him up. Waiting inside would have been warmer, but he was too nervous to sit still and his parents would have noticed him pacing the living room. At least out here he had a line of hedges and two pine trees blocking him from view of the house’s front windows, and no one except a few neighbors could see him.

  He’d been blessed with totally cool parents who accepted “I’m going to meet some friends” as an explanation for why he’d left the house five minutes ago. He was a sophomore in college, home on a short break, with friends home for the same reason, so he let his parents assume those were the friends he meant. If he told them about Gavin, they might start wondering.

  Headlights turned onto the quiet street a block down. An ‘89 Jeep Wrangler pulled up alongside the curb, and Gavin smiled at him from behind the plastic window. Jace’s heart kicked. His literal run-in with Gavin yesterday had been one of the most embarrassing and startling encounters of his life. Embarrassing because of his clumsiness and startling because of his body’s reaction to Gavin’s proximity.

  He knew Gavin Perez the way most people knew each other in this small town—the gossip chain and Dixie’s—but they hadn’t shared more than twenty words their entire lives until yesterday. And Jace had never noticed how tall and lanky Gavin was, or the sharpness of his cheekbones, or that he could smile with his eyes even when his mouth was relaxed. A mouth Jace had watched devour a plate full of food with amazing speed, attached to a body that was always in motion.

  A mouth and a body that Jace was distractingly interested in—and seemed quite interested back, given tonight’s party invitation.

  Jace yanked the earbuds out and turned off the iPod. He dashed around to the other side of the Jeep and climbed in, as much to get into the warm interior as to avoid prying eyes. The heater was on full blast and Jace began to sweat almost immediately.

  “Hey,” Gavin said. The force of his grin seemed to fill the Jeep.

  “Hi.” Jace felt like an idiot for not having something more clever to say. “Cool ride.”

  “She’s my baby.” He stroked the steering wheel in a slightly lewd way as he drove down the street. “Only woman in my life besides my mama.”

  “Lucky girl.”

  “Mama?”

  “The Jeep.”

  Gavin laughed, and Jace studied the way streetlights and shadows played across his profile, accenting the sharp planes of his face. His golden skin was perfectly smooth, his dark eyes slightly bowed. Exotic and yet somehow still perfectly average. Gavin caught him staring, and Jace fumbled for something to say. “So where’s this party?” he asked.

  “Other side of town,” Gavin replied. “Casper’s parents have a house out on Tillman Road. They’re away for the weekend, so he’s got the place to himself.”

  As a track star in high school, Jace had been to more than his fair share of unsupervis
ed parties, complete with kegs and beer pong and the occasional drunken fight. His stomach fluttered with nerves though. This was his first party with a bunch of older, post-college guys, and definitely his first showing up with a guy. Even if he and Gavin weren’t actually together, it was no secret in Stratton that Gavin was gay.

  No one in Stratton, however, knew Jace was gay.

  Maybe one person, if Gavin’s curious, appreciative glances were any indication. Accepting the invitation to this party had been pretty out of character for Jace, but he hadn’t been able to really kick back and relax in months. Not since May. Gavin and his adorably spastic behavior yesterday, coupled with tonight’s barely begun non-date, was the best thing that had happened to Jace since the spring. He planned to take full advantage of it.

  “So what’s your major?” Gavin asked.

  “I’m undeclared.” Jace swallowed back the unhappy sigh that always seemed to follow that statement. He was running out of time to decide and, likewise, running out of patience with school in general.

  “Any ideas?”

  “Not really. I like my lit classes, but you can’t do much with an English degree except teach.”

  “You don’t want to teach?”

  “Hell no. I barely function as a student. I can’t imagine choosing to stay in a classroom forever.”

  “Ditto that. I was the kind of student every teacher dreads. I swear, half the time they pity passed me because of my mother.”

  Jace frowned. “How’s that?”

  Gavin’s face tightened, and then he shook his head. “Never mind.” He negotiated a turn that cut around downtown Stratton and would eventually take them out to Tillman Road. “So what’s it like having a cop for a pop?”

  “I don’t know, it’s always been normal for me.” Jace never understood the fascination or surprise when people found out his father was a police officer. Keith Ramsey was his father, plain and simple. He was fair, he took care of his family, and he’d always done his best to show up for school functions and sports events. Sometimes his hours were a little odd now that he was back on third shift, but he was looking at a good pension when he retired.

  “Find a job that will support you and your family after you retire, son,” Dad had said so many times that Jace lost count. “Put in your time now, so you can invest in your future later.”

  Great words, if only Jace had any clue what he wanted his future to look like.

  An awkward silence fell between him and Gavin for the rest of the drive out to the house. Tillman Road wound out into the forest north of town, not too far from Carter’s Lake, and was sparsely populated. As Gavin turned into a dirt driveway, his headlights flashed over a white mailbox with the name “Blonsky” painted on the side.

  Jace’s stomach flipped as he finally made the connection to Gavin’s friend Casper and why the name had seemed familiar. His real name was Anthony Blonsky, and his psychotic cousin Nathan had assaulted his ex-girlfriend back in the spring. Nathan was in jail and the ex, a Dixie’s Cup waitress named Jennie Walsh, was coping. The idea that Gavin was friends with someone so closely connected to Nathan worried him. He didn’t really know Gavin that well, and this house was in the middle of nowhere.

  He discreetly checked his cell for service. Two bars didn’t make him feel much better.

  “I can hear you thinking over there,” Gavin said.

  “Huh?”

  “Casper’s not Nathan.”

  Jace’s cheeks burned. He didn’t insult Gavin by denying that the thought had crossed his mind. A large farmhouse came into view, lights burning bright in every window. The distant bass of music made its way to the Jeep, vibrating in Jace’s chest. Gavin parked along the driveway, behind a line of at least a dozen other vehicles, but didn’t shut off the engine.

  “Look, if you’re uncomfortable, I’ll take you home,” Gavin said.

  “No!” Jace flinched at the volume and tone of his own voice. “I mean, I’m fine. I really want to hang out with you.” Had that sounded as thirteen-year-old-girl as it seemed?

  Gavin studied him in the near dark. “Okay.”

  The party was in full swing when they walked in without knocking or ringing the bell. Jace doubted anyone would have heard them anyway. Music assaulted his ears, along with the mixed odors of beer, pizza and cigarette smoke. Familiar things that brought back so many memories of school and friends—and hiding, pretending to be as straight as everyone else when he’d rather be ogling the football players than the cheerleaders.

  “Perez!”

  A guy with white-blond hair and the complexion of a hospital bed sheet bounced his way through a group of people. He had a beer bottle in one hand and an opener in the other, as if he’d been in the midst of popping one when his focus shifted completely.

  “Hey, Casper,” Gavin said. The pair exchanged friendly bro-hugs and back slaps.

  “Opener, dude!” someone yelled from the living room.

  Casper popped the top off his beer then sent the bottle opener sailing into the crowd. “Hey, man,” he said, “you finally showed up to one of these with a date, or what?”

  Jace’s hand jerked and his heart kicked. He stayed silent while Gavin chuckled and poked Casper in the chest. “Why, you jealous?”

  “Hell, no, man, Julia Franz is here and she’s been totally scoping me since she walked in.” Casper drank from his beer. “Think I got a chance?”

  “No.”

  The face Casper pulled made Jace laugh, which earned him his attention. “Pardon my rude friend who brought you here.”

  “Are you sure he deserves a pardon?” Jace asked.

  Casper snorted. “I think I like you, kid. Folks call me Casper.”

  “Jace Ramsey.” He ignored the kid comment and shook Casper’s hand.

  “You legal?” Casper held up his beer. “Not that I care, but I figure as host it’s my duty to ask.”

  “Legal enough to do almost everything.”

  “Good enough. Come in. Drink. Be Merry. No sex on the first floor.”

  It was Gavin’s turn to laugh at what must have been a stunned look on Jace’s face. He followed Gavin into the living room and found himself swallowed up by a sea of people he didn’t know, but who seemed to immediately accept him simply because he knew Gavin. Coke in actual glass bottles made their way into their hands, and Jace wasn’t shy about snacking from the various bowls of chips and pretzels scattered around the downstairs of the house.

  More people showed up, filling the first floor with men and women, some of whom Jace recognized, most of whom he didn’t.

  “Casper’s parties tend to grow based on word of mouth,” Gavin said when Jace commented on the crowd. “I doubt he knows a quarter of these people.”

  They found a corner of the dining room to stand in and chat. Spending time with Gavin was the whole idea of coming to the party, and Jace didn’t take Gavin’s constantly shifting attention personally. He seemed to have a problem focusing on one thing with so much happening around him. The quirk was actually kind of endearing, and Jace found himself watching Gavin watch others more than trying to engage him in conversation. The array of musical choices was too loud for anything more than casual chatting anyway.

  Their corner also gave him a good view into the living room, where furniture had been pushed against the walls to create a dance floor. Guys and girls danced in what looked like a single cluster, no different than any other party he’d been to—until he spotted two guys in the midst of it. They weren’t simply dancing together, they were grinding and they were into it.

  Jace stared, mesmerized by the sight of the couple so perfectly at ease with each other and the crowd of straight dancers all around them. He scanned the other participants and onlookers and saw no obvious disgust, no pointed glares, as if it happened all the time. Jace couldn’t imagine ever dancing with another guy at one of his own friends’ parties.

  “You wanna dance?”

  His head whipped around, and he blinked at Gavin
, unsure if he’d heard the question properly. “Dance?”

  Gavin’s eyes widened. “I mean, it doesn’t have to be with me, unless you want to. You looked like you wanted to, so I asked if you did. Do you?”

  The babbling was more adorable than the hamster-like attention span—and when had Jace starting thinking of another guy in terms of levels of adorableness? Jace was all about new experiences and exploring his sexuality, and he’d never been in such a neutral environment, conducive to those experiments.

  “Never mind, it was stu—”

  Jace put his hand over Gavin’s mouth, cutting off the comment mid-stream. He felt Gavin’s lips curl into a smile against his palm, and the amusement in his brown eyes changed into something more intense. “Yes, I’d like to dance,” Jace said. “With you.”

  Gavin wasted no time taking his hand and pulling him out into the cluster of people in the living room. They merged into the rolling sea, and Jace’s nervousness at being out there with Gavin disappeared as soon as Gavin’s arms slid loosely around his waist. The hold was as gentle as it was possessive. Pressing close to Gavin’s body felt good. Moving with him felt even better.

  Jace ignored the other writhing bodies and focused solely on Gavin. On the way his long body moved with the music, muscles rippling beneath the too-tight button-down he’d worn. On the way he looked and smelled and sounded as they danced in the crush, abs-to-abs, groin-to-groin. And particularly, he focused on the way Gavin’s attention honed in on him and no one else for a very long time.

  His pulse raced and his heart pounded, as much with adrenaline and exertion as with arousal. Jace couldn’t hide his hard-on if he’d wanted to, and he only got harder when he noticed Gavin’s erection poking into his hip. Several times he thought Gavin was about to lean down and kiss him, but he never did. Jace’s senses were nearing a state of overload, and he needed to do something before he exploded.