Weight of Silence: (Cost of Repairs #3) Page 6

If Gavin hadn’t just busted his nut, he’d have spontaneously shot again. He watched in open-mouthed amazement as Jace cleaned the rest of the semen off his hand. As boneless as he’d felt seconds ago, Gavin’s entire body surged with adrenaline and the primitive need to explore this man as many ways as humanly possible. As soon as humanly possible.

  “How was that?” Jace asked, a sudden shyness in his face and voice.

  “Epic,” Gavin replied. “Totally fucking epic.”

  Humor twinkled in Jace’s eyes. “So it was okay?”

  Gavin laughed. He dragged Jace up for a kiss, then held Jace’s cheeks in his palms to say, “You up for a lot more epic?”

  Jace’s lips twitched. He took one of Gavin’s hands and pressed it against his still-hard cock, and Gavin’s heart tripped. “Use your words, Gav.”

  “Fine.” Gavin slid his hand down the front of Jace’s jeans and grasped the satin hardness he wanted in his mouth as soon as possible. “I want to see you naked on my bed before I make you come so hard you see fucking stars.”

  Jace shivered. “Yeah.”

  Gavin couldn’t stop his nerves from jumping when he opened the door to his bedroom. It was insanely small, as extra rooms in single-wide trailers often were, with barely enough space for a full-size mattress and chest of drawers. He rarely made his bed, but he did keep the floor and his clothes tidy enough that no one could call him a slob. He’d never seen Jace’s room, but he imagined it had a lot more stuff and space.

  He let Jace go in first, then shut the door—not that he expected an interruption, but it would probably make Jace feel more secure. His window faced the woods and the blinds were partially closed, giving them enough light without him turning a lamp on. He’d left his jeans and boxers behind in the living room and walked down the short hall naked. No sense in impeding the process.

  Jace stood by the corner of the bed, bare-chested and gorgeous, and once again faltering on what to do next. He was breathing hard, his cheeks flushed, as if on the verge of a small fit while he stared at the rumpled sheets and bedspread.

  He was changing his mind, Gavin was sure of it. Had he pushed him too far? He didn’t think so. “Jace?”

  The object of his attention blinked hard, then swiveled his head to stare at Gavin. “Yeah?”

  “What are you thinking about so hard?”

  Jace swallowed, and Gavin prepared for a shutdown. “Remember before when you asked what I wanted, and I said everything?”

  “I do.”

  “I don’t know if I’m really ready for everything just yet.”

  Okay, so not a total shutdown. More like an amendment to the terms. “We’ll only go where you want to go. No pressure, no rush.”

  “It’s just that I don’t think I’m ready for….you know…” Before Gavin could tell him to use his words, he said, “Penetration.”

  Gavin almost asked him to clarify that, because there were a lot of ways to penetrate someone and two people in the room. But the intensity of Jace’s expression shut him up. Jace looked equal parts terrified and turned on, and Gavin didn’t want to push him too far in the former direction.

  “Okay, no penetration,” Gavin said with a smile he hoped eased Jace’s worries. “But if there’s something you do want, at any time, tell me.”

  Jace relaxed, tension easing out of him like a deflating balloon. “Deal. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me. Sex is about two people. If you don’t both want what’s happening, it isn’t worth doing.”

  Jace’s eyes widened a fraction and for only a split second, but Gavin saw it. He didn’t understand what it meant, only that his words had hit home for Jace. Then his face softened. The earlier fear was gone, replaced by the simmering desire that turned Gavin the hell on. He watched as Jace stripped out of the rest of his clothes, revealing a pale body with the slim muscle tone of a serious runner. He was almost too thin, but that didn’t stop Gavin’s cock from taking an interest.

  He gave Jace a gentle push onto his back. The mattress bounced slightly as Gavin climbed over him, enjoying the sight of a naked Jace below, gazing up like he wanted to eat Gavin alive. Gavin ducked his head and proceeded to do exactly what he’d wanted to do since Thanksgiving—explore every inch of Jace’s bare skin with his mouth and tongue and teeth, before swallowing down his cock and sucking him into a leg-shaking orgasm.

  Twice.

  Later, when they were both naked in his bed, sweaty limbs tangled around each other, Jace described those orgasms less as seeing fucking stars and more like fireworks. Big, fucking Fourth of July finale fireworks with Beethoven playing in the background.

  He decided that Jace had a fantastic way with words.

  6

  It didn’t take Jace more than a day to discover the sketchbooks hidden under Gavin’s bed.

  After spending the entire previous afternoon together, Jace had gone home and promptly called Gavin to see if he wanted to go running the next morning. Gavin had waffled about the cold before acquiescing. By the time Gavin arrived that morning, Jace’s parents had gone off to work and his sisters were with their respective friends. Gavin had looked hopefully at the empty house, but Jace promised him a reward later if they ran now.

  Jace truly did love to run. He’d loved being on the track team and he was good at it. He liked the control he had over things—his speed, his pace, the length of his strides. He didn’t depend on anyone else to assist or help, it was all his own efforts. Gavin wasn’t as disciplined a runner, but he kept up and he earned points by not complaining about the cold.

  They returned to Gavin’s place to cool down and shower. Gym class aside, Jace had never showered with another man before, and sharing the small tub with Gavin was a lesson in maneuverability that had them both laughing. Someone’s elbow was always in the way, and they fought for control of the hot water.

  Blood already pumping from the run, Jace was intensely turned on by the time they were both washed and rinsed. Gavin was too, and a lot more impatient, because he pushed Jace back against the fiberglass wall of the tub and went down to his knees. Water sprayed the back of Gavin’s neck while he sealed his lips around the head of Jace’s dick. The sight of Gavin kneeling there, sucking him, pushed Jace into a pretty fast orgasm that left him weak-kneed and worn, and he decided to blame the bulk of that on his run.

  Gavin didn’t bother hiding his satisfied smirk while they dried off, and the expression didn’t bother Jace like he thought it might. Gavin seemed pleased by the pleasure he’d given Jace, not because he’d taken something from him or done something Jace couldn’t stop. He knew enough about Gavin to be sure Gavin would never treat him that way. After all, if his goal was simply to fuck Jace and then move on, there were faster ways of getting there.

  Jace pushed those unkind thoughts away and followed Gavin into his bedroom. He liked the solitude here, and he liked the homey comfort of the trailer. It didn’t try to be anything more than it was. He’d briefly crossed paths with Lucìa last night on his way out. She’d given him a mama-bear hug that promised unconditional acceptance of anything he might be doing with her son. He only hoped for half as much from his own mother when she found out he was gay.

  Their time here also gave Jace the opportunity to learn more about Gavin—even though his bedroom offered little insight beyond a penchant for tidiness—and to keep their conversations aimed firmly away from college. This was his sanctuary from school, and he wanted to keep the two things separated at all costs.

  Gavin stretched out in the center of the bed, and Jace sat next to him. He reached out and curled his hand around Gavin’s erection, memorizing the feel of him. The way his skin slid over the hardness beneath, the heat and thickness. Gavin wasn’t porn-star huge, but he was large enough that Jace’s insides squirmed at the idea of trying to take him inside his body. He didn’t know when or if he’d ever be ready for that.

  He shoved those thoughts away and put his focus back on Gavin, here and now, gazing at him so hotly that Jace
wanted to look away and hide. Instead, he held Gavin’s stare while he stroked him, taking in every nuance and muscle twitch, learning what Gavin seemed to like most. Noting the way he made the slightest moan when Jace ran his thumbnail over the head and into his slit. Absorbing the open-mouth huff Jace got when he used his other hand to massage Gavin’s balls. He liked this—getting a chance to touch and learn without the haste of needing to get off fast.

  He also liked the sense of power it gave him to hold another person’s pleasure in the palm of his hand. Literally and figuratively. Knowing that his touch affected someone so strongly, that he controlled how and when they got off. So many things had been out of his control lately. He needed this more than he wanted to admit—the control, the pleasure and the closeness to another person who didn’t judge him. He’d seen a lot of things in Gavin’s eyes these last couple of days, but never once had he seen judgment or reproach.

  Gavin groaned. “Now you’re being mean.”

  Jace’s hand had slowed to a tight, steady stroke, and he slowed a bit more. “Am I?” He leaned over and blew a hot breath over the head of Gavin’s dick, which earned him a harsh, sputtering noise.

  “Yeah, you are,” Gavin choked out.

  “Something you need, Gav?” The noise he made wasn’t the answer Jace was looking for. “Use your words.”

  “Bastard.”

  “Is that a kinky thing I don’t know about? Because—”

  Gavin surged off the bed, and then Jace was flat on his back, a hot and slick body pressed down on his. Jace didn’t have time to panic or fight back, because Gavin’s tongue was pushing into his mouth in a harsh kiss he felt all the way to his toes. Gavin thrust his hips against Jace’s belly, his trapped erection sliding hot and hard along the crease of his thigh. Jace moved with him instinctively, intrigued by this new thing as their bodies worked together. Gavin came moments later with a shout, his orgasm slicking the friction between them, until he stilled. He settled on top of Jace like a big, breathing blanket, and Jace held him there.

  When Gavin lifted his head, the guilt in his eyes made Jace’s stomach flip. “You okay?” Gavin asked.

  “Hell, yeah. A little startled, but feeling you go like that was kind of awesome.”

  “Yeah?” He studied Jace’s face for a moment, and then kissed him gently on the mouth. “We might need another shower.”

  They went into the kitchen and cooked a frozen pizza instead. Jace picked at a slice out of sheer politeness and kept up conversation while Gavin ate his fill of the spicy, cheesy stuff. At some point his attention landed on the framed sketch of Lucìa.

  “So what else have you drawn?” he asked.

  Gavin chased down a bite of pizza with a swig of Coke. “All kinds of things. I like drawing landscapes and scenes, you know? Real things. I’m not very good at making stuff up in my head and getting it out on the paper.”

  “Do you have anything I can see?”

  The innocent question led to a digging expedition beneath Gavin’s bed. He produced half a dozen large sketchpads, and they spent several hours going over each half-finished sketch. The progression of Gavin’s talent was obvious in those pages, from unsure lines and foggy images to lifelike renditions of his subjects.

  “This is amazing,” Jace said of an almost-finished drawing of Carter’s Lake. It was near the back of the last book and every detail was there, from the dock to the slope of the hill leading down to the sand. The only part unfinished was the sky. Jace didn’t know if the day was sunny or cloudy, or if it was nighttime. Only Gavin knew and he hadn’t drawn it.

  “I went out there a week or so ago,” Gavin said, and Jace swore his cheeks had pinked up.

  Was he blushing?

  “To draw the lake?”

  “Yeah.” Gavin tapped his fingers on his knee.

  “In December? Weren’t you freezing?”

  “I sat in my Jeep with the heat on the whole time.”

  Jace laughed at the mental image. “Why didn’t you finish it? You were nearly done.”

  “I kept getting distracted.”

  “By what?”

  “You.”

  His amusement died a fast death, and Jace frowned, confused. “But I wasn’t there.”

  “I know.” Gavin shrugged, his dark eyes fixed on the sketch. “You weren’t there and you weren’t answering my texts. I kept thinking I’d messed up the night we went out there together. I almost ripped the page right out of the book, but I promised Mr. Rhodes I’d never do that. He said even the worst mistakes are learning experiences.”

  Somehow Jace knew Gavin was talking about more than art. “I’m sorry I ignored you. I honestly didn’t do it to be mean.”

  “It’s okay.” Gavin grinned, and Jace believed him. “Besides, I didn’t scare you off totally, so it worked out.”

  Jace tapped the sketch. “So does that mean you’ll finish this one? Or move on to something new?”

  Gavin’s eyes seemed to darken as Jace’s innuendo hit home. “I’m beginning to quite like that one, actually. I’ve got some good memories there.”

  “Anything you want to share?”

  “I seem to remember doing this a few times.” Gavin leaned over the sketchbook and kissed him, and Jace forgot all about the drawings in favor of Gavin’s other talents.

  Jace spent more time at Gavin’s house than his own over the next two days, and that was absolutely okay with both of them. Not simply because Jace had found someone who actually liked running with him on cold mornings. They also had fantastic sex—although sex in a limited way, since Jace still wasn’t comfortable crossing the intercourse boundary. Plentiful and inventive sex. But it was especially okay because he liked Gavin. They talked about everything and sometimes about nothing. He couldn’t explain why Gavin made him feel safe. Being near him quelled the riot of fear and shame in his head. Gavin gave him peace.

  He also gave him his undivided attention, which seemed quite a feat for someone Jace remembered as being quite spastic. Gavin never said so, but Jace liked to think he helped quiet some of the crazy in Gavin’s mind. And Jace could be himself with no expectations of good grades and career paths.

  He managed three days of peace before it began to crack in all the wrong places.

  Jace had tried to get out of dinner with his family so he could spend the evening with Gavin, but Mom wouldn’t budge on it. “I only have you for a few weeks before you go back to school,” she’d argued. She didn’t ask where he went when he left the house, and he loved that about his mother. She wasn’t nosy. She trusted him. But her tolerance only extended so far, and he had to cut her slack to keep her out of his business.

  He sat through two boring hours at La Cucina’s and turned the Cobb salad he’d ordered into modern art with his knife and fork. Rachel watched him and did her annoying best to include him in conversation.

  “I almost forgot,” she said while Mom and Lauren debated ordering dessert. “Molly is having a party on New Year’s and she invited both of us.”

  Jace nearly bit through his tongue as he chomped a piece of ice from his water glass. Molly Hutchinson had been Rachel’s best friend since second grade. She’d had a big crush on him their freshman year of high school, which he’d tolerated because of his sister. He and Molly shared a lot of friends, though, and saying no to the party would look bizarre—especially since most of their friends went to college out of state, and he rarely saw them.

  He had little interest in seeing his old friends right now, though. Everyone would have stories about school and the awesome things they were doing, the girls they were banging, the parties they were crashing. He didn’t want to think about school, much less make up lies about how awesome the semester had been.

  “Yeah, okay,” he said.

  “You’ll go with me?” Rachel asked.

  “I said yes, didn’t I?”

  “Actually, you didn’t. You acknowledged the invitation.”

  “Then this is me accepting it.”

>   Dad cleared his throat—loudly. They shut up. No one ordered dessert.

  At least Rachel waited until they were home to barge into Jace’s bedroom with a scowl on her face. “When I said Gavin was cute and you should hit that, I was mostly kidding, you know,” she said.

  His heart nearly burst. He darted past her and shut the door with an accidental slam that startled them both. “Really?” he snapped. “Could you have said that a little louder?”

  “Sorry.” She tried to look contrite and failed miserably. “Look, ever since Christmas you disappear all day, every day. Are you with him?”

  He stalked over to his desk and leaned against it. “So what if I am? I like him, Rach. That’s not a crime.”

  “No, but trying to ditch your family to go see some guy isn’t like you.”

  “I’ve never had a guy to—“ he made air quotes, “—go see, so how would you know?”

  She rolled her eyes. “Okay, point to you. What about dinner?”

  “I wasn’t feeling chatty.”

  “Or hungry, apparently. You love La Cucina’s, but you barely ate anything. You didn’t even get their spinach ravioli, which you love and is only on special a few days a month. Why do you think Mom picked tonight?”

  His stomach tightened with regret. Mom had tried to do something nice for him, and he’d acted like a brat.

  She kept going. “Look, I’m not trying to butt into your business—”

  “You aren’t?”

  “Gavin seems nice enough. I just think you should be careful.”

  “We are being careful.” Not that they’d moved on to the more intimate activities that required condom use, but her face when she figured out what he meant…

  Rachel’s eyebrows shot into her hair line. “Okay, TMI territory. I don’t want details, and I didn’t mean that.”

  “Then what?”

  “You know his buddy Casper, right?”

  “Sure.”

  “So Casper’s cousin is Nathan Blonsky, the guy who went to jail for beating up Jennie Walsh and Rey King.”

  Jace resisted rolling his eyes. He knew who Casper was related to, and he knew why Nathan was spending eighteen months in jail. He’d been in the last few weeks of his freshman year when all that was happening in Stratton, dealing with exams and Rachel’s unexpected boyfriend breakup. “Casper’s cousin is an asshole, okay,” Jace said. “And?”